sigh.
so if you don't know already- which you should, and deepest apologies if somehow you were not informed- I canceled the contract with AFS while abroad in Malaysia, no not Mongolia as so many people seem to think. they were not fulfilling their end of the contract so I felt it only fair to end the deal. I am not okay with paying people to not do their job. I got into a legal battle, if you will.
things got real messy with my living situation(s), volunteer job, and relations with the company. once I canceled the contract that in turn canceled my visa... not part of my plan.
I was going to use the money I demanded they return and live off of it, planning more excursions and living arrangements.
however, with my visa being canceled I had a little less than a month to leave or be deported. the company was kind enough to give me about two weeks and said if I took that flight they would pay for my air fare. if I were to wait and stay for two additional weeks on my own penny, then the flight back would also be on me. so being the penny pinchin' nineteen year old that I am, but even more so I wasn't about to live on my own in southeast asia, a young white American teenage girl, without a plan, anyone to trust, or insurance of any kind. therefore I embraced my final days and took their free ticket to journey back to my homeland, the United States of America, safe and sound on April 19.
I had many mixed emotions with returning. to be honest, I slightly still do.
if the trip went as planned, then I would definitely still be there. or not necessarily exactly as planned. I needed: a home. security. a network of people to begin to trust and share with from day to day. I needed life.
it was out of my hands, but I cannot help but toy with the idea of -- what if it was not entirely out of my hands. maybe I made a few wrong moves, pulling out the wrong block collapsing my Malaysian adventure to topple.
the trip was beginning to be very unhealthy for me, but I managed to walk away growing from the experience. with the way my trip was turning out for me, I know coming home was what needed to happen. I have a bed. I have food. I have a roof over my head. I have somewhere to bathe. I have friends. but most importantly, I have family that loves me, and I love them back so very much.
there were a lot of firsts on the trip:
longest flight I've ever flown
getting out of America
staying in hostels
maneuvering around a country on my own
using public transportation
living out of my parent's home
asserting myself to the point of asking if I may move into an acquaintances' home
many new foods
being the minority in the entire country
simply surviving on my own
making a company shred their contract and give me a full refund (which in the contract states not a penny will be returned to the participant)
I didn't message for a long time because I either didn't have internet or I didn't want to write with a negative tone. which could then lead to y'all panicking back home, but not being able to reach me. then I didn't message right once I got back because I kind of hid from everyone for a while. I wasn't ready to explain to everyone over and over what happened. it breaks my heart that the trip fell through. I really cannot express how ecstatic I was about this trip. it's something I had dreamed about for years. someday I will go back to southeast asia. mark my words.
now I at least have some traveling experience. this was a learning experience one could not ask to receive.
